I want to say that I am back to normal and walking like a crazy lady, sadly when is it that I get what I want?
This morning like every other morning instead of my mom calling saying that something is wrong with her computer and she requires my assistance, she has simply asked “how are you?” “is there anything new today, any changes?” I wish I had better news for them. I wish I had better news for us, for that matter. When we were talking this morning about me not being able to make it Fathers Day tomorrow I realized that it is 2 years to the days since I fell to the wayside in 2014. I had fallen the week before Fathers Day back then due do a subclinical UTI and this last Saturday a week before Fathers Day I was paralyzed from a subclinical UTI.
Since last Saturday I am on my 3rd antibiotic. I started with Monurol on Saturday night, this is used to flush the bladder. It flushes through the system in four days and my oh my that is certainly what it did. It was Wednesday morning that I took another sample into the lab and infected I was still infected. I then received a call from the doctor Wednesday afternoon, started Cipro with great expectations to soon be walking, as this is normally what happens. By Friday afternoon there was still no change which normally happens within the first couple of doses. Back to the doctor’s office for a 3pm appointment. Sent to the hospital to have an IV put in for the first time in two years. I was then started on a higher dose IV antibiotic with expectations to be walking by bedtime last night. Calls were put into the MS Clinic about IV steroids to be started, this will get looked on Monday. This evening I go back in for my second dose of the antibiotics to see what will happen. Tomorrow morning, I will restart and continue back on my remaining Cipro until hearing from the MS Clinic.
I sit here in my wheelchair in a desperate need of a shower. Not so much a shower per say as I’m able to wash myself with wet ones. My hair on the other hand is so greasy I can barely stand to look in the mirror. The upside to growing my hair out though is that I can put the top in a ponytail now. I want to push myself out of this damn chair and wet my own head again.
My days have been long and frustrating even though you would think I would be used to this by now. I’m going on 11 years of this up and down crap. I really believed that my transplant would solve this stuff. It has slowed the pace at which my body does this for sure. I am now infected every six months versus only when I’m not medicated. I only go into paralysis every couple of years instead of every few months. The amount of nerve damage my system has had is astronomical, the price I pay for that is this.
I am desperately trying to hold onto the fact that this is old stuff and that I’ve battled it once, twice, twenty times, and I will continue to do so. Movement doesn’t run my attitude, but my attitude also doesn’t run my movement either. My attitude is set by my gratitude for being alive and with the people that I love. I’m forever grateful for the doctors that saved me from the brink of death and gave me all the time that I’ve been blessed with. No matter what is to come I will thrive with what I am given.
Love and hugs Fiona