A breakthrough...of the soul! Perhaps the deepest desire a human being has is for the soul to have some sense of value in this world. Figuring out where it belongs. We create relationships, do jobs, have families, volunteer, decide on a cause, whatever - all to feel 'part of' a whole. To know we have an innate value to this world. In and amongst these ways of 'doing' we loose the true essence of belonging. We get side tracked into our performance, acceptance, power, control, accomplishment, success, rules, expectations, accumulation of stuff, travel, knowledge, children, degrees, acknowledgement and so on that we miss the train entirely.
What the soul directed, the human conditioning followed on a completely different path. A disconnect between the soul and the mind. But you see, the path 'seems' to create value. It looks like contribution. It seems important. It looks like the right thing to do. It empowers the ego. It makes us right!
Yet the soul continues to hunger for value; a place of worthiness. So humans DO more, want more, search more, control more, run harder, move faster.
This last two years have been a devastatingly difficult journey. Depths of despair. Overwhelming fears. Painful emotional and psychological warfare. Littleness within - so much at times I thought I might just disappear. Times I wish I could.
With much needed help from very significant protectors of my Spirit, I am seeing more Light ✨ and Hope 🦋 within than I thought existed in me. Certain, select People came, surrounding me with their strength, wisdom, guidance, gifts compassion, care and Love.
Walking through big challenges I seem to do it best tactically - creating something - as I process through. Since 2014 I kept seeing that I needed and wanted a shield. I kept praying and asking for one. I looked and tried many ways to create one. Nothing fit. It was difficult to recognize a shield was actually being provided. It is much stronger than what I would have made. And although not the concrete creation I imagined, it is exactly what I needed.
This shield protected and guided me as I began a very deep, ugly and dark metamorphosis. I cocooned myself within. I prayed. And I kept praying when I couldn't pray. I kept saying thank you when I wasn't grateful at all. I kept putting one foot in front of the other when I wanted to sleep. I cried when I wanted to put on the mask. I was as honest as possible when I wanted to close my eyes. I cleaned out many old beliefs - ones I thought I would die if I let go of. I accepted some terrifying fears and many of my own humiliating defects when I had nothing new to hang on to.
My brain began its rewiring. It's all still in motion. Now, friends, THAT is a painful experience. AND well worth the efforts.
And now...well now the cocoon has just began to crack its shell. I am still wrapped up tightly within. This very morning I saw wholeness. Wholeness of this very journey and the wholeness of humanity.
We have much work to do to carry Light into this world of darkness as the human conditioning hides the essence of our Intended Soul work. And we must do it together. The value of the Soul that we all search for is not the specialness in being different but in the uniqueness of being a compassionate carrier of Love to the whole. That is the function of worth.
Good day, and a very happy Saturday to you all!! I have been a very busy gal cleaning my house and picking weeds. I get this doesn't seem like a huge thing to most people but for this gal these little things are AMAZING!! I am continually progressing past my fears. It seems for me that I truly believed that my disease had shifted my life so much that the old me was gone for good. I am slowly realizing that the only way for my disease to win is if I allow it... I realize that I have used my disease as an excuse to not reach out past my comfort zone. Today I was at Costco simply standing at the corner when there was a lady that I recognized and I pointed this out, she in turn knew me too, but neither of us knew from where. Haha, I went through the list of things I belong to and wallah there I finally nailed it. It of course, shock, shock was Multiple Sclerosis!! Tehe, she was like "OH YES, the book!! Yes I said the book.. Then we started from there going back to all the places we had met, turned out to be 3. Giggle, the high point of this is there are 2 MS patients trying to remember.. For me, with 'this little exchange it allowed me to see how much I am actually doing in my life. When I was trying to figure out where I knew her from, it was funny that MS was my last choice, where for the last many years MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS was ALWAYS where I guessed because it felt like that was all I had. For so many years of my life the only people I knew were my close friends, plus nurses and doctors. I am ecstatic that my life is finally moving past MS!! It has taken me nearly 6 years of full recovery, (lol with the exception of a couple of paralysis') Life is so fantastic so long as I simply stay out of the way and let the big guy take the lead. I say all the time I SIMPLY FOLLOW WHERE I AM LEAD.. It seems it is time to pay better attention to where that is. I have not been on here in a very long time, I have no excuses or real reasons for that matter. I simply have not been. I think some days socializing on here feels so disjointed to me. I am so much better shaking hands, well honestly hugging 🤗 because that is what I do. I love people, I am so lucky to have all of you.. Have a blessed day!! ... See MoreSee Less
Eek, First and foremost I did my first audit at our MLA's Constituency Office. This is something that I would not have done prior to the following program. I honestly have SO many endorsements to share that they will all be in a blog post, for today you will simply get the following. I am excited to share that this Thursday the 22nd in Calgary at the Blackfoot Inn myself and 17 others will be in a Showcase starting at 6:40. We will be taking the platform speaking on our chosen topics. I am grateful to have been apart of this amazing program, I have learned so much and have met and have been influenced by so many spectacular people. ... See MoreSee Less